I made sure to turn myself into the most likable, perfect version of myself in all scenarios. I am the girl who got voted class clown but had a 4.0 GPA, and to a teenager, that’s the whole freaking package baby. *dabs*
As a teenager, I noticed that I wasn’t as attractive as the other girls in my school, so I focused on being funny and smart. I spent years as the funny girl, because at least if I was funny people would want to be my friend. And where did I get the idea that I wasn’t pretty anyways? Could it have been all the magazines I read in my nana’s condo calling Hilary Duff, Jessica Simpson, & Lindsay Lohan fat when they had bigger bodies than me? Just a hunch.
I started my first diet at age 17, because for me to become perfect, I’d have to have the perfect body too. Little did I know, there’s no such thing as a perfect body. With a woman’s body, puberty, and hormones, our body and weight changes every single day and it’s not a metric to judge ourselves by. But no one told 17 year old Jacki at a Weight Watchers meeting that. I spent the next 14 years dieting off and on, and no matter how small I got, like Alexander Hamilton, I was never satisfied.
As an adult, I spent years looking for answers to my endless quest for perfection. I got certified as a love and relationship coach so that I could help women learn to love THEMSELVES first so they could show up in their romantic relationships as confident as possible. And not the toxic positivity, love yourself no matter, type thing. Real internal work. Showing girls and women how to value themselves for their GIFTS and not their BODIES.
Jacki Carlson is not acting as a mental health counselor or a medical professional. Therefore, her services are not offered as a substitute for professional mental health care or medical care and are not intended to diagnose, treat or cure any mental health or medical conditions. She is a trauma-informed coach, but not a trauma specialist and will kindly refer clients out to other resources, if they fall outside her scope of practice.
I want to get ahead of the curve and start working with your teen so she has these tools going into her young adult life. I wish someone had told me then, what I know now. That your body is good because it exists, not because it looks a certain way. As a teacher, this is the work I bring to my students in my confidence workshops. We start talking about it in 5th grade, because that’s when the girls start shrinking. They start questioning themselves, judging themselves, and isolating. I became a coach, because I wasn’t reaching enough girls as a teacher at 1 school. Every girl needs this work, not just the ones in my school.
And if you’re an adult, you have a lot of unlearning to do. I will help you unlearn all these horrible things we were taught our entire lives, so that you can heal yourself and attract the partner of your dreams or show up in your current relationship more conscious. Trauma is generational, let’s stop passing down these horrible negative messages down to our future children.
Once I started showing myself more compassion, I started showing the men I was going on dates with more compassion as well. And as soon as I started being gentler with EVERYONE in my life and hired my own love & relationship coach, I met my fiance. We have the most beautiful, easy love.
“There was an ease and sense of connection right off the bat with Jacki. She has such an inviting and magnetic energy that instantly drew me in. I felt safe enough to open up and explore some very vulnerable and personal topics that I don’t share with just anyone. She artfully guided me through our sessions and help me connect and explore parts of myself that I had not had access to before. I felt seen and understood. Her intuitive reflections and the way she held the container helped me find the insight and clarity that I was searching for. I finished each session feeling extremely empowered and clear that my desires are normal, fully attainable, and beautiful. I have seen shifts occurring in myself, my marriage, and my family that I didn’t think possible. I am finally feeling confident voicing my needs and desires without shame or fear. It feels so amazing and liberating! I couldn’t recommend working with Jacki more. She has an ability to hold space and guide people to back to themselves that is truly a gift!”
Having Jacki as a coach was like having a bright positive light shining for me. I loved her energy in our session together. It really made me feel held and empowered. Jacki has this positive, powerful presence that she brings to our sessions which is exactly the medicine. She has a deep and generous level of listening and I feel I have been able to let go more than ever before when working with Jacki. She really gave me what I needed to explore my own process. I loved Jacki’s reflections and input.
The coaching I did with Jacki was transformational and something I would recommend to any woman looking for a shift in their life, both inner and outer! As a new mom who was constantly overwhelmed, Jacki gave me the tools I needed to ask for help, set boundaries and most importantly, realize that I was worthy of self care and support. I can honestly credit Jacki for bringing so much into my life including a babysitter (invaluable to a new mom!), a more organized home, better communication with my partner and overall more abundance.
Jacki's coaching was a beautiful blend of nurturing support with just the right amount of tough love to push me toward the change I greatly needed. I feel immense gratitude toward her for the work we did and I know if my baby could speak she would be thanking Jacki as well!